What To Do When Anxiety Paralyzes You
Let’s skip the fluff.
When anxiety hits hard — when you’re frozen, spinning, and can’t move forward — the last thing you need is someone telling you to “just breathe.” I kind of roll my eyes every time I see it, not because those things don’t work , but because they don’t work until you’ve built the skills to KNOW exactly how to implement them when you need them most.
Sure, deep breathing can definitely help, but when your body feels hijacked by panic, logic doesn’t always land. You need something you can trust to work — not a Pinterest quote or generic advice you’ve already tried a thousand times.
Let’s go a little deeper.
Step 1: Notice the Thought That Froze You
Anxiety is often your brain’s way of saying, “Hey, something feels unsafe here.”
But instead of listening, we tend to panic about the panic…right??
Start by genuinely slowing down and asking yourself:
“What was the most painful thought I had right before I felt anxious?”
Maybe it was…
“I’m going to screw this up.”
“I don’t know what to do.”
“Everyone will think I’m incompetent.”
Those thoughts aren’t facts — they’re habits.
They’re mental reflexes your brain learned to protect you that you think over and over in stressful situations.
The problem? They feel true because you’ve rehearsed them a thousand times.
Step 2: Talk Back to Your Brain (Like You Mean It)
You don’t have to argue with your thoughts — just acknowledge them.
Say something like:
“Thanks for trying to keep me safe, brain. But I’ve got this.”
That simple acknowledgment does something powerful:
It tells your brain you appreciate the concern, but there’s no real threat — so it can just chill out.
Kind of like when Taylor Swift reassures her bodyguards she’s got a situation handled and doesn’t need backup right now. They’re still there if she needs them — but not every moment requires a full-blown security response.
That’s what you’re doing with your brain. You’re saying, “Hey, I know you’re trying to protect me, but we’re good.”
It validates what’s true in the moment — that you’re scared — and reminds you that fear isn’t the problem.
Staying stuck in fear is.
Think about it: if your friend were scared or overwhelmed, would you tell her to hide and give up?
Or would you meet her with compassion and remind her how capable she is?
Exactly. The latter.
So why not treat yourself that way too?
Instead of beating yourself up or gaslighting yourself with thoughts like:
“I should have it together by now.”
“I should’ve known better.”
“I can’t believe I did that.”
Try compassion instead.
Because when your brain starts to trust that you’ve got its back,
it no longer needs to hit the panic button 24/7.
Discomfort or anxiety becomes an “expected” thing that we can plan for accordingly. No problem.
Of course it’s not our favorite thing in the world, but we’re also NOT going to die!!
Fight/ Flight/ Freeze or Fawn is needed when we’re surprised with an actual threat or in crisis. We don’t need those responses when we can see a perceived “threat” headed our way.
That’s how you rebuild self-trust — Compassionate conversations with ourselves and a committment to planning for what might trigger us along the way.
If you’re reading this… I guarantee you’re a planner, so I’m speaking your language :)
Step 3: Ground Yourself — But With Intention
Now that you’ve calmed your internal dialogue, you can work with your body.
Try this grounding technique — but don’t do it on autopilot.
Do it like you mean it.
Look around and name 5 things you see
Touch 4 things you can physically feel
Notice 3 sounds
Identify 2 things you can smell
Take 1 slow breath and say to yourself:
“I’m right here. I’m safe.”
This isn’t about perfection — it’s about presence.
Step 4: Remember — Anxiety Isn’t the Enemy
Your anxiety is trying to help.
It’s just showing up in a really dramatic way.
I’m known for saying “our triggers are our teachers”
So what if you stopped seeing anxiety as something to fight —
and started treating it as a message to decode and an opportunity to learn more about YOU?
“What is this trying to teach me?”
“What am I afraid might happen?”
“What does my body need right now?”
When you lean into the fear instead of running from it,
you teach your brain that discomfort isn’t dangerous.
And that’s where real power begins.
Step 5: Anchor Into New, Non-Cringe Affirmations
Forget the fluffy stuff that feels fake when you’re spiraling.
Here are affirmations that actually land when you’re in the thick of it:
“This feeling isn’t forever.”
“I can feel anxious and still take action.”
“My thoughts are loud, not lethal.”
“I don’t need to fix this moment — just ride the wave.”
“My anxiety doesn’t define me. My response does.”
“I have options in this moment”
Say them out loud.
Feel them in your body.
Let them become your new mental reflexes.
The Bottom Line
When anxiety paralyzes you, your goal isn’t to make it disappear.
It’s to show your brain it can trust you to handle it.
That’s the real antidote — not control, not avoidance, but calm confidence.
You’re built to adapt.
And every time you face your fear, your brain learns that safety lives inside you.
🔥 Want more ROCK SOLID IDEAS you can use in those tense moments??:
Ready for real-life tools to calm your anxious mind — without toxic positivity or “just breathe” run of the mill advice?
Grab my free guide: “Scripts for the Anxious Mind: What to Say When You’re Spiraling.”
I house all my freebies in my group: Facebook.com/groups/lauriewhitecoachingSee you on the inside :)