Self-Compassion: Why Being Kind to Yourself Is a Productivity Tool (Not a Luxury)
Let’s be real—most of us weren’t raised to think “being kind to myself” was a success strategy.
Nope. We were taught that the harsher we were, the better we’d perform.
That if we could just whip ourselves into shape a little harder, we’d finally “get it right.”
or worse yet… if we didn’t beat ourselves up- we were SOFT and verging on weak quite frankly.
Except… how’s that working for you?
If you’re anything like the high-achieving, perfectionistic women I work with, you already know what happens next:
You mess up or miss something (or think you did), your brain goes into full-on attack mode, and suddenly you’re spiraling.
You start saying things like:
“I should’ve known better.”
“That was such a stupid mistake.”
“Why can’t I ever get it right?”
And before you know it, hours (or days) have passed, and you’re mentally stuck in the shame spin cycle.
Here’s the truth:
That inner critic? She’s not helping you “do better.”
She’s killing your productivity.
Beating Yourself Up is a Complete Time Waster
I tell my clients this all the time: when you start spiraling, you’re wasting your most valuable resources your TIME ENERGY AND ATTENTION- resources you can NEVER get back.
You’re not learning from the mistake—you’re looping in it.
You’re not moving forward—you’re mentally paralyzed.
And let’s be honest: perfectionistic women HATE wasting time.
So if you really want to be “efficient,” then you’ve got to stop the bleeding.
No shame if you fall into the trap (because we all do).
But the key is to catch yourself quicker and shift gears ASAP.
That’s where self-compassion comes in—not as a fluffy “feel-good” thing, but as a powerful brain reset button.
Why Self-Compassion Works
When you’re in shame, your brain is in threat mode.
You literally can’t think clearly. You’re reacting with your triggered brain, not reasoning with your thinking brain.
But when you meet yourself with compassion—when you pause and say, “Okay, I messed up. I’m still human. I can fix this”—your nervous system calms down.
You move out of that fight-flight-freeze space and back into your logical, problem-solving brain.
And that’s when productivity starts to flow again.
How to Stop the Bleeding
Here’s the move: the next time you catch yourself mid-spiral, just stop and say out loud—
“Alright. Let’s Stop the bleeding.”
Interrupt the pattern.
Take a deep breath.
Then shift to curiosity instead of criticism:
“What can I learn from this?”
“What’s my next best step?”
“How can I make this 1% better next time?”
This is how you retrain your brain to move forward faster.
Check Your Standards
Another thing I see all the time: my clients would never talk to their kids or friends the way they talk to themselves.
So my question is—why are your standards lower for you?
If compassion and patience are standards you hold for others, they should be standards you hold for yourself, too.
That’s not weakness—that’s wisdom. That’s walking your talk. That’s modeling what real leadership and humility is.
Because the truth is: if you sat on every decision until you had 100% of the information, you’d never get anything done.
You have to move, adjust, and pivot as you go. That’s not sloppy—that’s smart.
Bottom Line
Self-compassion isn’t letting yourself off the hook.
It’s keeping yourself in the game.
You’ve got too much to do to waste hours/ days or years of your life beating yourself up over things you can’t change.
So be kind to yourself—not because it’s cute, but because it’s efficient.
That’s how you build self-trust, resilience, and actual results.
Ready to stop the mental spin and start getting back your focus (and energy)?
👉 Message me for a free consult and let’s see if working together is a fit. I’d love to help you stop the bleeding faster and start trusting yourself again on your path to ENJOYING life again without ANXIETY and OVERWHELM running the show!