How to Know If You’re Living by Your Core Values (or Just Going Through the Motions)
Ever feel like you’re checking all the boxes but still feel a little... disconnected, unhappy or unfulfilled?
You’re not alone. A lot of high-achieving, big-hearted women feel stuck in that weird limbo between “doing all the things” and still have that gnawing feeling something’s missing.
Often, the missing piece is this: we’re not living in alignment with our core values.
We know what matters in theory—but in the rush of everyday life, we don’t always live it out.
So how do you know if you’re living by your values or just running on autopilot?
Here are a few ways to tell:
🔹 1. Your calendar and your core values don’t match.
If you say connection is a core value, but you're spending zero intentional time with people that are important to you, that’s going to take the wind out of your sails for sure!
If growth is a core value, but you haven’t challenged yourself in months—same thing.
Ask yourself: Does my time reflect what I say matters to me?
🔹 2. You feel off, but can’t explain why.
That low-level irritability, restlessness, or overwhelm might not be random.
It might be a signal that you’re out of alignment with what matters most.
Your nervous system is smart. Pay attention to it.
🔹 3. You're waiting for permission.
Sometimes we don’t live by our values because we’re committed more to someone else’s or we’re waiting for someone else to approve of ours.
We shrink, we people-please, we stay quiet—just to keep the peace and to “go with the flow”- because that’s what’s most helpful right?
Not so fast!!
Peace on the outside does NOT mean peace on the inside. Be sure to know the difference.
🔹 4. You're living by other people's expectations.
You might be crushing it at work or doing everything right, but if the life you’re building is based on someone else’s vision, it’ll never feel quite right.
Living your values means you’re clear on your vision and you’re regularly connecting to and creating your version of success.
So what now?
Here’s a quick challenge:
Make a list of a few of your core values - (things that are important to future you!)
Circle the ones that feel true for you right now
Pick 3 to 5 values and then write a short description of what they mean to you speficially.
Then ask: How can I live this out today, even in a small way?
The goal isn’t perfection—it’s awareness.
When you know what matters, you can stop letting the day dictate what comes next and start choosing intentionally instead.
Want help discovering your core values?
That’s exactly what I guide women through in my counseling/ coaching work.
Shoot me a message at LaurieWhiteCounseling@gmail.com I would LOVE to chat :)