Why Most New Year’s Goals Are Secretly Fueled by Anxiety
January is interesting and often times exciting time as well…
It’s a time when we reflect on what has been- as well dream about what’s to come.
People typically come in motivated. Hopeful. Armed with their long lists. However, in the background… there’s usually some flavor of “shame” needing to be better or ya know…”get back on track”.
Folks dive in talking about what changes they plan to make this year, and it’s almost always laced with PRESSURE underneath the goal.
Not inspiration. Not clarity. Pressure.
Most New Year’s goals aren’t created because of calm, grounded insight. They’re created because anxiety is whispering (or yelling), “You should be doing more than this.”
The “Should” Trap
You know… the familiar January chat:
“I should be further along by now”
“I should be able to handle this”
“I shouldn’t feel this overwhelmed”
Your should thoughts, are one of anxiety’s favorite tools.
They sound productive.
They sound responsible.
They sound mature.
But they usually come from shame — not self-trust.
Anxiety Loves Goals (For All the Wrong Reasons)
Anxiety loves goal-setting.
Because goals can become a socially acceptable way to beat yourself up.
When anxiety is in charge, goals aren’t about building a life you enjoy — they’re about fixing who you think you are.
I hear things like:
“Once I get more disciplined, I’ll feel better”
“If I can just be more productive, I won’t feel so anxious”
“This year I’m finally going to get it together”
Why Motivation Doesn’t Last (And It’s Not Laziness)
By February, most people are frustrated with themselves again.
They assume:
They lack willpower
They’re inconsistent
They just “can’t stick to anything”
But clinically speaking:
The goal most likely required them to fight their nervous system every single day.
Pressure can get you started. however, it cannot carry you long-term.
A Different Way to Think About Goals
Before setting any goal this year, I invite you to pause and ask:
Am I doing this because I’m afraid?
Am I trying to prove something?
Would I still want this if no one else knew about it?
Goals rooted in anxiety feel urgent and heavy.
Goals rooted in values feel quieter, loving — and more sustainable.
They’re less about becoming someone new and more about coming home to who you really are.
If You Read Nothing Else
You don’t need better goals.
You’re simply better off with fewer “shoulds” and more honesty about what goals are actually aligned with who you want to be long term.
That’s where real change starts.
Not in January.
Not in perfection.
But in self-trust.
If you’re curious about the journey to self trust or how to start 2026 in a new way- I’d love to chat on a FREE consult and see if working together would be a good fit!!